Wanna get out of your boring life? Let me help you!
Here are some ways to go and "live" for ever in eternity.
While you're there, say hi to Kurt Cobain for me.
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Water
Dosage: 14 litres mentioned. Time: 12 hours or so? Available: always available. Certainty: unknown. Notes: Works by washing out the salts in your body, until the cells fail (osmotic balance buggered up). You need to keep drinking continually until you collapse. Unusual method. Someone suggested it would also cause cramps. Found it out because of this story. "About a year ago a local newspaper carried a story about a woman who had drunk herself to death. Apparently she had ingested something mildly poisonous, and when she called her doctor asking him what to do, he told her to drink lots of water and see him in the morning. She got to it and managed to drink no less than 14 litres of water before the osmotic balance in her body was so upset it could no longer function and she died (don't know how quickly)". |
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Nicotine Dosage: extract from 100g tabacco? 40-60 mg pure. Time: Several hours, coma may set in much earlier. Available: Easily available. Certainty: Fairly certain, given a large enough dose. Notes : "Soak 100 grammes of tabacco for a few days. You get a brown mess. Strain off the tabacco, then simmer slowly until most of the liquid has gone, leaving about 2 teaspoons of brown treacle-like stuff. Add it to your night-time drink, and never wake up. Someone said the other day that 150mg of pure nicotine would be fatal in seconds. See the "plants in general" entry." It is correct, as far as I have found out. It can be added that the effects include violent convulsions and that the direct cause of death is respiratory failure. Smokers should use larger doses than non-smokers. |
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Breaking neck Time: Should be instant if it does break. See previous if not. Available: Rope, 10 foot space below. Certainty: Very certain if the rope/support doesn't break. Notes: Minimal danger of discovery (depends on location). Painless if you drop far enough (8 foot is optimum). Make sure that the rope is tied securely to something STRONG!! It has to support your weight MULTIPLIED by the deccelleration. Use a hangman's knot (with the knot at the back of your neck). It doesn't always work this well though, you might get a bust jaw / lacerations etc and then asphyxiate. Calle: I got this table of appropriate falling heights from a.s.h. long-time regular MegaZone ([email protected]), who got it from a friend of his named Mark. Culprits Weight Drop 14.0 stone (196 lbs) 8ft 0in 13.5 stone (189 lbs) 8ft 2in 13.0 stone (182 lbs) 8ft 4in 12.5 stone (175 lbs) 8ft 6in 12.0 stone (168 lbs) 8ft 8in 11.5 stone (161 lbs) 8ft 10in 11.0 stone (154 lbs) 9ft 0in 10.5 stone (147 lbs) 9ft 2in 10.0 stone (140 lbs) 9ft 4in 9.5 stone (133 lbs) 9ft 6in 9.0 stone (126 lbs) 9ft 8in 8.5 stone (119 lbs) 9ft 10in 8.0 stone (112 lbs) 10ft 0in Source: Charles Duff, Handbook of Hanging (Boston: Hale, Cushman & Flint 1929) |
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Jumping in front of trains Time: Seconds (or hours if unlucky) Available: Anywhere near a HIGH-SPEED railway line Certainty: Depends on your timing & speed of train. Go for decapitation Notes: Probably better to put your neck on the line, since a glancing blow would probably break your spine (& cripple you). High speed trains need a kilometer to stop, so find a blind corner. |
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Pencils up your nose, bang down onto table Time: Seconds or never Available: All you need is a couple of sharp pencils and a table Certainty: Very uncertain Notes: This is a myth, I think, since the pencils would go into your frontal lobes, which are basically optional. This is the legendary "exam suicide". Fine if you want a DIY frontal- lobotomy rather than death! I'ts just like the pencil murder!! Cool, let's do it, mail me if it worked! |
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Skydiving "accident" Time: pretty damn quick. Available: need to join a skydiving club. Takes much time and money. Certainty: Fairly certain. People have fallen from extreme heights and survived. The resulting injuries are not fun. Notes: Join a skydiving club, continue to practise it for a while to clear off all suspicions and then once pack your parachute in a real mess (preferably knotted up, but not too clearly) and then jump. The para will not open and you will reach a terminal velocity of 220 km/h (160 mph/120 kn). Death is instant in the impact with the Planet Earth. This has the advantages of being 'accidental', and your family/ friends do not have the additional pain and guilt associated with suicides. Calle: In addition to the above, you need to remove or disable your reserve parachute (which is not easy, I'm told). There are better "accidental" methods than this. A correspondent who is a skydiver dislikes this entry, since if people use it it will give skydiving an undeservedly bad reputation. |
Well you could just mail me and ask nice!!
All I wanna say is, don't think to serious about this shit. If you are thinking about using some stuff from above, first talk to someone about it. Most people think different about suicide after a while. Please wait at least 2 months before you do it, to clear up your mind
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